Democratic Nominee

It’s been a long road for Obama supporters. We started a journey, for some the night of the Iowa primary, for others much sooner than that, that can finally draw to a close tonight. As convinced as I am that Obama is the real thing, a politician who will believe in the things he says and really change this country for the better, I’m still filled with apprehension and nervousness tonight. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I should be emulated with joy. But it’s more complicated than that. It’s been such a long journey and as Richard Cohen said in an op ed this morning, we were so much younger then.

First of all the idea of the looming negativity is exhausting. We were graced with an unbelievable beginning to the primary. Obama was told it wouldn’t happen, but somehow he kept winning beginning contests. And it was all so positive. Then South Carolina happened (and I’m not making a comment on whether Bill Clinton meant those comments the way they were interpreted, only that that is when the media games really began). During the last few months I’d watch the news cringing as the latest “scandal” broke. And media spin is only a small element of what is ahead as the presidential election moves forward. What about the fear tactics, the claims of patriotism, the American people being too lazy to actually research dropped media bombs? Instead we listen and judge and move on to the next scandal, the next thing that’s going to sink our floating ship. I guess it’s the same Roman instinct that makes every head turn and lock when driving past an accident, we just know that failure is part of the course of life, and knowing our own past mistakes, look for the same stumble on the national stage.  We enjoy when someone who seemed larger than life falls. So I’m afraid that greedy, salivating attack dogs are waiting and searching for what can sink the current political messiah.  

I remember crying at Obama’s first victory speech in Iowa. I believed that fully in what he was saying. “We are one America.” But now I wonder, are we? We break so easily among our lines of commitment. Can we pull together and become the one America Obama spoke of? You know the negative narratives continuously remind me that it takes more than a president to change the status quo of the country and Washington. I still believe that while that is true, the President sets the tone for what is acceptable behavior, what the national attitude and theme is, and people conform to that. I still believe that (My summarizing makes it a little black and white, because the people have a role in this as well, but I believe that a positive role model will have positive results on the constituency). Will his message of unity and bipartisanship actually take root? It’s just such a far dream.

I feel pessimistic tonight. I don’t mean to be. I’ve always believed in optimism, but you also need to always maintain the negative reality of what the world can be. I guess that’s what this is in a way. I’m ready to move forward and rededicate myself to the dream and believe that “if we can change a room, we can change a block, and if we can change a block, then we can change a city, and if we can change a city we can change a state, and if we can change a state we can change a nation.” But my dreams of a peaceful election where the media is not all about ratings, Republicans aren’t chopping and dicing and slicing, and people can believe in a dream and work hard to achieve it have faded. I know now that it might be a struggle that we’ll have to fight for it, and we might even achieve it and then watch as it slips down the drain and it turns out to be the same Washington lies we’ve heard for most of our lives.  I will move forward optimistically but cautiously, a little less naive, and a little less vulnerable then I began this journey.